Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm bleeding and have questions
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
