please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
