I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
