Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
