I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
