Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
