i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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