first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
