I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
