whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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