We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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