i just made my gag reflex go away.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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