is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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