3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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