Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize