I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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