Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
