we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
