Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
