margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
please come you make the beer taste better
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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