no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
