good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
