I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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