O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize