Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
