Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
