wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
