Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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