I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize