You can't special order awesome
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
