Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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