He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
