God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I will be naked everywhere
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
