uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
