And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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