Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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