And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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