YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Can I color on your dick again?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
