About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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