i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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