I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
