Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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