i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
