oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
