I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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