He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
