If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize