I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
