thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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