AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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