Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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