pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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