I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
