I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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