2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
