Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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