What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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