If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
