Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
