i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
