The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
