I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
