you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
