Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
