Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize