I wish i was in the wii world.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
