some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
