I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i want to swaddle you in tequila
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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