you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
