No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
