The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize