I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
