You don't have asthma, your pregnant
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
