Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
