Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
