Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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