Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
