Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
