even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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