that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
