I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
