I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize