Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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