yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
