walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
