Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What drink are we having for lunch?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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