well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize