Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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