I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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