stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need to calm my uterus...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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