Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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